Flecks or Nuggets?

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This story has me thinking today.......

There is a story of a young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of this possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them. 

Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, "That's quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy."

The young man replied, "There's no gold here. I',m going back home."

Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, "Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it." He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

Noticing the bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector's waist, the young man said, "I'm looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks."

The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold. 

The old prospector said, "Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you're missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth."

Today I am thinking about how easily I get focused on doing too much. I tend to be a person that loves simplicity, but I seem to always wrap everything up in a complicated mess. The funny this is that when I am crazy busy I spread myself to thin. Never really giving enough of myself to anything to make it feel right. However, when I simplify and focus on the small things, the things that make my big picture it's best, life is more peaceful and fulfilling. What makes me forget this?! 

My goal this year is to focus more on the "flecks" in my life. Today I am making a list of all the things that are important to me (scripture study, daily prayers, weekly temple attendance, serving others, spending "fun" time with my kids, taking care of my health, being a crazy amazing wife :), being a better friend, etc). These things will receive my energy. They are the little things in life that make my life rich, blessed and full of happiness. 

Sure there will be things that will require my attention. However, I will learn to give them what they require and then move on.....simplify. 

This totally reminds me of a story a lady told at a convention she was speaking at. She was talking about making treats for her childs school class. She was supposed to bring 20 treats that resembled "12 Drummers Drumming". She stayed up all hours of the night baking large cookies shaped like drums. She frosted and detailed each one meticulously. She was exhausted the next day when she took them to the class. As she set them in front of the kids she sought a bit of ooo's and aahhh's from the children. Instead.....they ate them in like 2 seconds flat and went on with the rest of the party. She said, "It was this point that I realized a Ding Dong and 2 Twizzlers would have worked just fine."

I think about that a lot. How true is that?! Sometimes it is so great to give something our best effort, and others it is OK to just accomplish the task. After all, we are all busy. There is a lot that is required of us. WHY make it harder than it is supposed to be. In my experience, when I give a large amount of effort to the things that are not on my list of things that are important to me, I tend to feel overrun and a sense of failure, no matter how much I accomplish outside of those things. 

Sometimes the nuggets are great, but they are few and far between. The flecks, however, are in everything that is important to us, and as they accumulate, their value is far beyond a nugget here or there. "The patient accumulation of these little flecks [will bring us] great wealth!"

Science VS. Passion

My hubby sent me this article a while ago....

Passion That Doesn't Play Out? Science Tells Us It's Real
By: Christine Wicker

"WOMAN UP" Section

"Scientists have long comforted those of us plodding through the tedium that long-term relationships can become by telling us that passion doesn't last for anyone. Within three months to three years, it has done its job of encouraging us to procreate. Perhaps it has kept us together long enough for a child or two to be born. Then, task accomplished, it fades.


People then break up or they don't, and passion changes into something calmer. Researchers call it attachment. It's deep, persistent, comforting. It doesn't keep you up at night.


We believed those researchers. Experience confirmed what they told us. Usually. I have a friend whose fiery passion for her man was the kind that you only dare dream about. The passion lasted eight years.


"Eight years," I squealed. "Who gets eight years?"


"Then it ended," she said, like I should feel sorry for her. I didn't.


And now it turns out that I have a lot more people not to feel sorry for. The scientists now say they got it wrong. Passion never plays out for a lucky 30 percent of couples.


Researchers discovered this when they put some young people who were recently and madly in love on brain scanners. The kids' brains lit up the screens with feel-good dopamine. Their brains looked like those of people on cocaine.


Then researchers did the same tests with couples who'd been married 20 years and claimed to be still passionately in love. These older couples' brains looked like they were on cocaine too, proving that they weren't just braggarts and liars, as everyone probably assumed. They really were passionately in love, just like the kids.


Where did they find these lucky couples? I certainly don't know any of them. If I do, they've had the grace to keep their mouths shut about it. Twenty years? I don't believe it. I think they were all on cocaine."

Well, this is just plain sad! 

Ms. Christine Wicker, I would like to say....

14 YEARS and I still get butterflies! 

14 YEARS and I am am even more giddy and passionate about my husband than I was at any other time since I met him! 

14 YEARS and never a harsh word said or a voice raised in anger towards each other! 

Yes, a good marriage...a good long marriage, eternal even, requires selflessness, good communication, forgiveness and service.

It requires seeing beyond only your own needs and doing what it takes to help your spouse become the very best version of themself possible, and vice versa.

It requires seeing each other as individuals with individual desires, needs, goals, etc. All of which contribute in making us, as individuals, the strongest we can be when we are united.

It requires that we hold our tongues when stress makes us want to lash out, because we respect and love the other too much to do anything that would tear the other down. We know, afterall that stresses are best handled as a team, because perhaps our spouse can see something we do not, or maybe just because we need someone who knows us best to remind us that we will get through it together.

It requires putting our relationship before any other role we play in this lifetime, and constant vigilance in nurturing and protecting our bond.

It requires putting the needs of our companion before our own and serving them, always seeking to help them find fulfillment and joy, because we know that as we do this, they will do the same in return. Both of our needs will be met through the others selfless service, and because of that service a stronger, Christlike love, that will help us see past each others faults, will strengthen our love and passion for each other, until even Eternity seems too short a time to spend together!  

Yes, Ms. Wicker, for those that see long term relationships as "tedium" that must be "plodded" through, passion will be short lived. However, for those that are willing to fan and tend to the flames of their "fiery passion", constantly working to re-ignite the sparks that are always threatened to be dampened by the stresses of life....or even time, there is not a drug on this earth that you can compare to the sort of euphoria we experience on a day to day basis.

My name is Amy Lindstrom, and it's time to start believing, sister!

I LOVE A GOOD DATE NIGHT!

Ry and I try to be good about getting some alone time every week. I think we are better parents when we realize that we are a couple first! We make each other ridiculously happy! And ridiculously happy people are better parents than miserable ones, right?! :)

What could I possibly love more than a date night? A surprise date night! I don't care if I am the surpriser or the surprisee....I'm not picky! And I DO SO LOVE to let a suprise unfold and watch my hubby enjoy it!

Ry and I both LOVE music! We love to listen to it and we love to sing/play guitar. So I knew this date would be a hit.

Have you heard about Cjane's Rooftop Concert Series in Provo, UT?

I have always wanted to go to one! Now I live in Utah and I can! Yay! Plus, they are FREE! Double Bonus!

Ry and I headed to Outback Steakhouse....cause the man needs some good steak from time to time. Afterwards we drove to a parking garage in downtown Provo. Ry was still clueless. We got out of the car just in time to hear Mindy Gledhill doing her sound check. Oh, you must click that link and check her song samples out! She was truly brilliant! I loved her!

Anywho....Ry was super excited! He was way glad that I had gone outside the "movie" box and that we were going to just chill and listen to music all night!

Plus, super bonus! I MET CJANE! And apparently I was excited cause I couldn't have smiled any harder! What the heck?! My eyeballs just totally disappeared! :) In all fairness we were laughing at Ryan because he had the camera set to video mode and recorded us posing! :)

Courtney is a BEAUTIFUL person! Outside and In. We talked about Dawson. She knew all about him. We both cried a bit. I gushed a bit, cause I am just so darn proud of her! I am so impressed by her drive and the way she sets her mind to doing things and gets them done! Plus, she is stinking hilarious! I love someone that makes me laugh!

Ryan Innes provided a bit of entertainment to get us started. He was pretty darn good. Then Mindy took the stage! I LOVED her!

There were SO many people there! Good thing we got there super early! We had pretty good seats! By the time everything really got going people were so crammed on that rooftop and down on every corner of the garage until they had CJane begging people not to fall over the railing! :) This picture doesn't even do it justice!

The headliner was Meaghan Smith! She apparently just won an award in Canada that is the equivalent of a Grammy for Best New Artist. Pretty sweet! She was fab and we loved that her hubby was her lead guitar guy.

Such a fun night! I am SURE we will be showing up at next months concert! In fact I can't wait!

{THIRTEEN} Years of Bliss

Today my hubby and I are celebrating our 13th anniversary! How crazy is that?! 13 years is a long dang time! However, the last 13 have been the best years of my life! I can honestly say that I have a BLAST being married to Ry! He makes marriage easy, fun and so happy!

I also must include that 13 years is pretty awesome, when you find out that just 6 days after meeting we were engaged! Does that sound like me or what?! 2 months and a week after that we were married! NUTS! What can I say, when you know, you know. :)

The other day I was thinking about the last 13 years and wondering how it is that we have made it to this point still totally in love with each other. I mean, I still get the butterflies! They never went away! When he is at work, I miss him. I can't stand it when he is away from me. We have so much fun together! I am pretty sure we could be together 24/7 and never get tired of it.

I was thinking about what it is that makes our relationship work so well. I came up with a few things that have worked great for us. Things we just kind of do, but that make all the difference.

First, I have to say that it's not always perfect all the time. Although, we have never been in a "fight", we do disagree with each other, sometimes. The important thing is how we work out the things we disagree about. We NEVER EVER yell at each other. Oh my, the thought makes my heart hurt! I would feel awful if I ever raised my voice at Ryan, and vice versa! There is nothing in this world that is important enough to bring that kind of reaction out of either of us. Don't get me wrong, I can get pretty passionate about my side of the disagreement, however, I am more passionate about my relationship with my hubby. I would never say anything that would hurt him in anyway.

Ryan has taught me A LOT about compromise. Not with words, but in the way he is with me. I learned very early in our marriage that my happiness and comfort are always his number one priority. In turn, his became mine. It is amazing what this has done for us! It has always been unspoken, but through his example and our actions my needs are taken care of, his needs are taken care of, and it is all done through service toward or from each other. Serving others increases our love for them. Perhaps only our families, those that are totally nauseated by the amount of times we tell each other we love each other in a day, are the only ones that would think more love in our marriage is a bad thing! :)

One thing that I love in our relationship is our ability to communicate. When something is missing, needed or upsetting, we can talk openly about these things. I know that if we talk to each other about something that is bothering us, we will always validate the way the other feels about the situation, even if we disagree, because we are 2 different people and we will react differently to a situation. When Ryan does this, it totally helps me feel safe with asking for what I need. Sometimes as women I think we just want our husbands to be able to figure out or just know what we need. We think if they were really in-tune with us or really loved us they would be able to figure it out. SERIOUSLY! This bugs me. When we react this way, it totally sets us up for heart ache. Some men are more in tune than others, but really, most just don't think that way. They would do anything in the world for us, but they need to know what we need or want. If we don't tell them, they don't know why they are in trouble. When they find out they are in trouble for not being able to read our minds....oh my! Can you imagine how helpless you would feel?! It makes me laugh a bit. Sometimes between hormones and occasional over sensitivity, our poor husbands can't win! :)

I also love that Ryan supports me 100% in ANYTHING I want to do. If I feel the slightest desire to accomplish something, he is always my biggest cheerleader. I am pretty sure he thinks I can do anything. I love that he believes in me like that.

I love that Ryan is a share the load type guy. If he notices I have had a big day he always whips up dinner, or does the dishes after. He totally helps out anywhere he sees he is needed.

There are plenty of faults between both of us, and we are different in a lot of ways, but we compliment each other perfectly. We have been through a lot of rough stuff over the last 13 years. Between the financial mistakes we made in the first couple of years, to infertility, to preemie babies, having Dawson with all of his special needs and then losing a child...statistically we have defied all the rules. However, we are tighter than ever. He is truly a great partner and I am SO glad he is mine!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to dote on my hubby! He makes me ridiculously happy and I am SO glad he is mine! I am glad he is willing to put up with my selfishness and love me anyway! Sometimes I can be a turkey, I am sure!

LOVE YA BABE!

"HOW Do I Love Thee"

This week I want to share a few things I have read and heard about marriage.

My husband is easily my very best friend, greatest passion, one of my greatest sources of joy and the greatest blessing in my life. I gush over him. Too much sometimes. Just ask our friends and family! :)

I wanted to share this with you. Something I love. I LOVE Elder Holland. What a WISE man!

This week I will share a bit of my feelings on the subject, but for now.....