Back To School.....for the Old Man!

Oh, does this picture ever make me laugh! 

Since March my hubby has been voluntarily out of a job. I'm not going to lie, I have enjoyed the livin' day lights out of it! There is not another soul on earth that I would rather spend every second with! I never get tired of him and we always find something fun to do! It has been awesome, to say the least. And now, it is time to get on with it, I suppose.

Ryan has done Heating & Air Conditioning his whole life. His Dad started a company when Ry was young, and so he started learning the trade early on. After we got married he became the Residential Manager in the company. However, he still struggled. He didn't have a passion for what he was doing for work, and since that is where you spend such a huge chunk of time, it's kind of important to be happy with it....at least that is how we felt. So, he decided to move on, which resulted in the offer to run the Harris-Dudley branch in Sun Valley, ID.

Back again! Out of one, and right back into another. However, neither of us can deny that this was the right move for us. The Lord wanted us in Idaho and that is right where we went. Every person, every experience, especially having the twins while we were there...it all was just as it should have been. We met friends that had a profound impact on our lives, friends that we will love forever! Ry ended up becoming an equal partner in the ownership of that company. They had a good company! They were successful! One of the best...if not the best in the Valley. Ryan was designing systems for 18,000 sq. ft. homes and doing work for Tom Hanks, Arnold Schwarzenegger and other uppity ups. He was providing well for our family and we were able to do whatever was required to take care of Dawson's needs. Including taking the time off work or working from his home office so he could care for Jake & Mal while Daws and I stayed in the hospital. All seemed just right.....except it wasn't.

I totally believe that each of us was sent to the earth with a "To-Do" list, of sorts. We have missions to perform, things that only we can do. When we are living our lives in a way that fulfills those purposes, then we experience joy and fulfillment. We have peace. When we are not, we may be busy, but we will still feel a lack of joy, peace and fulfillment in our lives. 

Ryan was experiencing just that. The lack! Ry has never been one to define success by money or position. Success comes for him through feeling. Feelings of fulfillment, joy, peace....all of those feelings only come when we are living our lives inline with what our spirit knows we have been sent to do.

After Dawson died the feeling of that part of our lives coming to an end started becoming stronger and stronger. We didn't know what would happen next, but we knew the Lord's will would be done. Ry worked hard. The area we lived in started to feel the weight of the economy in the area suddenly taking a nose dive. Remember when we lived in our RV? We were trying to find a way to heal our hearts by having an adventure together. The Lord knew that this was a step in helping us financially for our next big move, the one we didn't see coming, but we could feel something was going to change. And change it did! With 10 days notice Ry and his partners decided that they weren't willing to go into a hole trying to save the company. We were even more anxious to move to the next step in our lives, and suddenly the opportunity was in front of our faces. The down fall was that we only had 10 days to pack up and move back to Utah. We barely had a chance to say goodbye to the friends we loved so much!

Once we got to Utah, we tried to find the next step for us. Was this the window to getting Ryan out of HVAC and on to his place in this world. Well....not yet!

Ry was asked to start a solar division for a friends company, and so he did that until we could sort out what to do next. We just kept feeling that there was purpose in the timing. And there was. He had a job, we found the house that was the right fit for us, and we were able to buy it. Then Ryan was givin the opportunity to go work in North Dakota for my sis-in-laws Dad. One week gone, 3 weeks home. January-March. It was a sweet arrangement. Then March came. We had enough in savings to take a step back, live on it, and sort out our next steps.

The last several months have been a lesson in faith for us. Each week we went to the temple, prayed constantly and sought the Lords will in our lives. We felt that was the best way to help us find the right path and opportunities. All along, every time a job was offered or a little stress was felt, we were met with a reassuring, "not yet, just be still". Occasionally we would have a strong feeling to do something, like build a music studio in our garage. We don't know why for sure, other than it gives Ryan a place to record, write & play music and for me to sing at the top of my lungs without disturbing a soul....and I like that! :) When we would start to worry, we would go to the temple and again, "not yet, just be still".

And then it came.....SCHOOL! Ryan had a career planned for him, since he was 11! He knows all there is to know about the industry. College wasn't something he chose to do. It is something he regrets so terribly. Not anymore! As of yesterday, Ryan started attending his first classes at UVU, with hopes to quickly transfer to BYU. We feel very good about him getting a degree in Mechanical Engineering, as of right now. He is wicked smart and totally could do anything he ever wanted to do. For now, this feels good, and we feel that as he starts in that direction either other doorways will open, or this will remain confirmed.

And so it starts! Ryan, Jake & Mal in school. Ryan at nights, for now, so he can find something to do, or start a business that will provide for our family in the meantime. Funny thing is that just the other day I felt a strong prompting to start school this January! Can you imagine?! 2 College Students with 2 kids in school! I laugh when I think about it, but it makes me excited to think about what lessons we all, and most importantly our kids, will learn through this experience! Certainly college will play a huge roll in their lives!

But beyond all of that I have to say, I have 100% respect and admiration for Ryan! He has my complete support, come what may! How could I not support him?! He is a 38 year old man, willing to walk away from a comfortable living to pursue his mission and purpose. Not everyone's mission is directly related to what they do for a living. Ryan's is. We know this, because of his Patriarchal Blessing...and from what we feel! I have mad respect for his willingness to sacrifice and become the OLD MAN on campus! THAT is living with Eternal Perspective! THAT is LifeUncommon! And I love him for it! We may be starving college students, and life might get a little crazy, but it will be yet another adventure under the belt of the Lindstrom Family! No doubt about it! 

So buckle up my friends! You are along for this ride! Wouldn't it be interesting to be able to flash forward 10 years to see what your life looks like?! Well, it would, but since it can't happen, we are just going to trust and enjoy it as much as possible!

DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE IN ORDER TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! THE REWARDS WILL BE PRICELESS! 

HIS First

This last Sunday I had such an interesting impression during the Sacrament.

Jake was about to pass the Sacrament for his first time. This is a BIG DEAL! He has really been so worried about it. Worried that he wouldn't know where to go, worried that he would mess up or get confused....just a whole lot of worry. We had promised him that we would all be praying hard for him. So, he summoned the courage and took his place.

While I was praying for him, and thinking about how much I love this little man of mine. I suddenly had a very strong impression about my role as his mother, and Ryan's role as his father. These roles are a privilege and a calling.

Our children each come to this world with a specific purpose and mission to fulfill and the Lord is entrusting us, his children, to guide these little ones through their lives. He knows us all personally, and so He knows the order in which we should come to this Earth. We were chosen to come before our children, because  the Lord knew that we would be able to give our children what they would need to meet the requirements of their lives. The interesting thing about this feeling was the sense of being a secondary parent, for lack of a better term. Sometimes I think I look at my kids as being totally mine, but they are not. They are His first! He loves them infinitely! He knows their spirits and their potential and their weaknesses, because He, our Father in Heaven, is literally our Father! Likewise, He knows us, our potential and our weaknesses, because He is our Father as well! His love for my children, and His trust in me, as well as His gratitude for the work I am trying to do with my kids, was so profound today! I know where I fall short, and so does He. I think that is why He sent this loving reminder to me today.

Perspective always seems to do a world of good! I can't help but feel a desire to do a little better, be a bit more patient, pray a little more on their behalf, knowing that the Lord will guide me in this role, when I think of my children as His children first!

FHE: Flying High by Keeping the Commandments

This was SUCH a fun FHE! I heard this analogy once a long time ago and thought an object lesson was definitely in order! This lesson carries such a HUGE impact and really helps the kids understand the role rules and commandments play in our lives! 

To start, we gathered the children around as we flew one kite. 

We asked, "What are some of the commandments or rules in the gospel?" They listed some and we added here and there. 

Then we asked, "What are some of the rules in our home?" They listed and we helped again. 

Then we asked what the kids thought would happen if we were to cut the string on the kite. They all responded, "It will fly away!" 

Then we cut the string, with plenty of gasps from the kids. The kite immediately plummeted to the ground! 

We then talked about how the rules and commandments are a lot like the string of the kite. We may feel, at times, that they are holding us down, or restricting us. However, they are actually what holds us up and gives us the ability to accomplish the things we want to do in life. 

We then discussed a few of our commandments, and/or rules, and how they might help us. 

For Example: 

Word of Wisdom = A life free of addiction. Helps us have a healthy body, smart mind, etc. 

Law of Chastity = Protects us from disease, prevents teenage pregnancy, unnecessary heartache, etc. 

Being Honest = Helps protect us from stress and troubles that come in relationships or with the law. 

Daily Chores = Keeps our home clean and helps us have order and be able to feel the spirit in our home. 

Speak Kindly = Helps us have stronger happier relationships. 

.....and so on. 

We brought up rules in our home or certain commandments and asked the kids to come up with a reason why they would be good for us. Having them come up with them really helps them learn to think this way about these things in their lives. It helped us all to see how important these guidelines are in helping us live a fuller life, and actually showed us how freeing rules and commandments can be! 

We talked about.....

DOCTRINE & COVENANTS 82:10

"I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." 

When we follow the rules the Lord has set for us He is "bound" to keep the promises He has made. He has promised to give us ALL that He has! And He will!

Then, of course, we ended the night with the activity of a whole lot of kite flying! Kite Flying with a whole new perspective! 

Simplify.

It has nearly been a month since I last posted. It has been on my mind a lot, but there has also been a sort of calm. I have felt like it would be good for me to take a break and re-focus. I guess the best way to explain the purpose of this break would be to compare it to a "Girl's Night Out" or a "Date Night". Stepping away from our norm refuels us and when we come back, we are a better version of what we were before we left.

This last month I have had my priorities on my mind a lot. I work, from home, but still it is work. My responsibilities as a mother, my desire to be a better one. My opportunity to be married to Ryan, my desire to constantly find ways to make sure he is every bit as happy as he makes me. My roles as daughter, sister, granddaughter, aunt, friend and all of the privileges that come when I nurture those relationships. My gratitude for the blessing of being a member of Christ's Church, once again restored to the earth, and all of the areas in my life I desire to make better so that the Lord will continue to bless me with the opportunity to share my testimony with others through this blog and the firesides about Dawson. Also, the responsibilities I have as a temple recommend holder and the opportunity I have to live so near a temple. I need to be better about regular, frequent attendance. My wish to be better and have more time to dedicate to serving others and spending much more time to give my energy to helping and spending more time with my dear grandparents. Wanting to spend more time reading and learning. Being more regular with taking better care of my health........

My list could go on and on. 

Basically I have thought about what needs to be eliminated, and what needs to shift in priority. What do I need to simplify so that my energy is better directed? There are obviously a million things all of us have that helps make sure that our plates stay full. I think there is just a bit of shifting and balance that has to take place...and sometimes sacrificing, in order to meet the most important needs in our lives.

I have re-focused and I am still in the process of making those changes. It was good to step back and get a more clear picture of my goals and the course that I am on, as opposed to where I want to be.

Is that all a little heavy? Sorry bout that! :) Just a little something on my mind, and a sort of explanation for my absence....and a promise to seek for more purpose in the things I do.


LET'S SIMPLIFY.....

Remember that whole "3 Cookbooks in 90 Days" thing we have going on? Well, I have a ZILLION....Ok, maybe a few less than that, recipes to share with you. However, I am just going to give them to you one at a time, instead of all the recipes I used in a single meal. It is crazy how long it takes me to post some of those. I have an insane ability to take WAY too much time doing things. I don't get it. I have tried to change it, but alas....I'm still slow! :) It probably has to do with a little A.D.D. I can walk in to a Target for 2 things and 2 1/2 hours later I am walking out of the store wondering what the heck just happened and why did it take SO long?! My hubby lovingly tells me I get distracted by sparkly things. It is true. I concur.

The other side of this is the fact that in the last month my hubby's job has changed a bit and he spends a week out of town out of every three weeks. Since my children do not dote on ANYTHING I make, outside of green salad, because of their unnatural picky-ness, I do not waste my time baking up a storm on their behalf. We do a whole lot of simple while Ry is out of town, and that is OK with all of us!

Rest assured, there are A LOT of seriously delicious and totally practical meals coming your way.

Outside of the recipes, normal posts will come, not everyday, but they will be more frequent than they have been over the last month....Deal?!

NOW, I must give one mighty thank you to all of you! Some of you are newer to this blog, and some of you have been here since it was created. I have received some of the most amazing and inspiring emails from so many that have found their way here one way or another....from Australia, to Uganda, to Oregon, and everywhere in between, it has been one of my very favorite things about this blog. When else would I have the opportunity to share my life, thoughts and most importantly, my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel  with so many all over the world?! The Internet is a spectacular thing!

I know not everyone that reads this blog agrees with everything I say, and I know that not everyone believes the same things I do, but you have all been incredibly kind and I appreciate that so much! Kind is always welcome! :)

Anywho....thanks for hanging in for my ramblings and for sticking with me through my break! :) 
You guys seriously make my life better! Thanks for that! 

Grateful Kids Are Happier Kids

I love when my hubby sends me great articles like this: 

GRATEFUL KIDS ARE HAPPIER 

(you should totally take a sec and read it, too!)

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"We know that grateful kids are happier [and] more satisfied with their lives," explains Hoftra University psychology assistant professor Jeffrey Froh in an article this week in The Washington Post. "They report better relationships with friends and family, higher GPAs, less materialism, less envy and less depression, along with a desire to connect to their community and to want to give back."

That's not all. It's also believed to boost immune systems and lower blood pressure over time. In a Temple Univeristy study, patients with hypertension lowered their blood pressure just by calling a "gratitude" hotline everyday. If it's that effective on adults with health problems, imagine what announcing the good things in life at early age can do. 

In a study of early adolescents, Froh found that kids who journaled daily about their good fortune, over a period of two weeks, were less prone to depression and more satisfied with their lives overall. And that optimism and satisfaction made them more likely to take care of themselves physically in the long-term."

Gratitude is a powerful powerful thing, my friends! I am so glad I read this article! It reminds me both the importance of  putting more focus on it within my own life AND the importance of teaching my children the importance of developing an attitude of gratitude. How powerful would it be to live our lives focusing on all that we have to be grateful for, instead of all that we lack?! Of course we would be more satisfied and happy. 


This whole article has inspired me to start a new tradition in my family. Each night at family dinner we are going to go around the table and list one thing that we are grateful for that day. I will encourage the kids not to repeat, if they can help it. I hope that doing this will help all of us  become more mindful of all they have to be grateful for, and that it will help bring us closer as a family! 


Thanks for the awesome article Ry!  

Flecks or Nuggets?

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This story has me thinking today.......

There is a story of a young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of this possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them. 

Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, "That's quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy."

The young man replied, "There's no gold here. I',m going back home."

Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, "Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it." He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

Noticing the bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector's waist, the young man said, "I'm looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks."

The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold. 

The old prospector said, "Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you're missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth."

Today I am thinking about how easily I get focused on doing too much. I tend to be a person that loves simplicity, but I seem to always wrap everything up in a complicated mess. The funny this is that when I am crazy busy I spread myself to thin. Never really giving enough of myself to anything to make it feel right. However, when I simplify and focus on the small things, the things that make my big picture it's best, life is more peaceful and fulfilling. What makes me forget this?! 

My goal this year is to focus more on the "flecks" in my life. Today I am making a list of all the things that are important to me (scripture study, daily prayers, weekly temple attendance, serving others, spending "fun" time with my kids, taking care of my health, being a crazy amazing wife :), being a better friend, etc). These things will receive my energy. They are the little things in life that make my life rich, blessed and full of happiness. 

Sure there will be things that will require my attention. However, I will learn to give them what they require and then move on.....simplify. 

This totally reminds me of a story a lady told at a convention she was speaking at. She was talking about making treats for her childs school class. She was supposed to bring 20 treats that resembled "12 Drummers Drumming". She stayed up all hours of the night baking large cookies shaped like drums. She frosted and detailed each one meticulously. She was exhausted the next day when she took them to the class. As she set them in front of the kids she sought a bit of ooo's and aahhh's from the children. Instead.....they ate them in like 2 seconds flat and went on with the rest of the party. She said, "It was this point that I realized a Ding Dong and 2 Twizzlers would have worked just fine."

I think about that a lot. How true is that?! Sometimes it is so great to give something our best effort, and others it is OK to just accomplish the task. After all, we are all busy. There is a lot that is required of us. WHY make it harder than it is supposed to be. In my experience, when I give a large amount of effort to the things that are not on my list of things that are important to me, I tend to feel overrun and a sense of failure, no matter how much I accomplish outside of those things. 

Sometimes the nuggets are great, but they are few and far between. The flecks, however, are in everything that is important to us, and as they accumulate, their value is far beyond a nugget here or there. "The patient accumulation of these little flecks [will bring us] great wealth!"

I Was Told I Needed To Hear This.....

I found my self nodding through the whole thing! These words are so beautiful to me! They are my testimony! I love, love, love this song! (Plus you can see a few people you might recognize!) This is such an important and beautiful message!

Eternal Perspective & Failing Hearts

Perhaps you have seen this video floating around. Maybe you have already watched it. Maybe you were like me and thought you will watch it when you have a few extra minutes. Now that I have, might I suggest that you either watch it again, or don't put it off any longer.

Before you watch, I want to tell you 3 things:

1: Trials and adversity are not only a part of this life, they are THE MOST IMPORTANT part of it! Through them we learn the true characteristics of God, His love for us, our strength with Him & our purpose, IF we choose to overcome the fear and cling to faith.

2: Wendy Nelson, Elder Nelson's wife, gave a talk at a meeting I was at. She said that if we could only glimpse just 10 seconds of our life before this one, all of our stresses that burden us in this life would simply melt away. I believe that it is not that they would go away, but our ability to put them in proper perspective and manage them efficiently would be increased because we would look at our problems with Eternal Perspective in mind. Eternal Perspective changes EVERYTHING and helps keep us focused on our purpose, eliminates fear and provides the courage to move through anything we may face in this life. No matter how difficult.

3: I know I have told you this before, but it feels appropriate to share again what I heard over and over from Dawson the day after he passed away. This was something he meant for me to tell you. You as in any person that should ever happen upon this blog and see anything about him and his courageous and faith filled life. He said:

        

   “If you could only see what is waiting for you, you would do everything you could to get here. You would not just simply go through life, you would work as hard as you can to serve the Lord so that when you arrive, you arrive to the same kind of celebration I did!”

And he did! I will never forget the moment his spirit slipped from his broken body. He had finished all he 

wanted to accomplish in this life and he had done more than was required. The celebration was sweet and 

powerful. Those that received him, had watched his sacrifice and mission and now it was time to receive the 

reward! 

I hope this video inspires you, like it has me, to have more faith and a whole lot less fear. Who knows what tomorrow will bring for anyone of us. Fear is not a productive emotion. It cannot stop things from happening, but faith and Eternal Perspective can help us make it through it! 

Living With Loose Ends

The other day I read the most beautiful post on MormonMommyBloggers.com.

Such a powerful and healing message! It must be shared! It is short, to the point and beautiful! It is HOPE...for everyone!

Go HERE to read it! You will be glad you did!

Fully Commited

A couple of months ago I heard such a great lesson on commitment. The teacher told about his soon to be brothers in law trying to get him to take the leap off the high dive at Lava Hot Springs. He wanted to impress them and the jump didn't look THAT treacherous. So he agreed. Once he reached the top of the 33 foot tower, his fear had fully kicked in. Looking over the edge of the tower was enough to make anyone weak in the knees.

As he thought about backing out and the way it would look for him to make his way back down the ladder, he reminded himself that he said that he would do it and not wanting to face the humiliation of backing out.....he jumped!

He talked about how up to that moment he had made a commitment, but at the moment of take off, he was committed. How do you back out half way through your descent?!

He encouraged us to view the commitments we make in our lives in the same way. He tied this whole analogy to the way we live our lives and especially the way we live our lives as Christians and as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

The things we choose to do or not do each day reflect our level of commitment. Are we still peering over the edge, the promise of performance still lingering in our minds, the delivery leaving a bit to be desired?

I think in my life there are definitely a few areas where I can say yes to that question, if I am looking at it honestly. There is no halfway in commitment. There is no way of coming just short. As with the jump from the diving board, once you push off you are in it 100%!

That lesson has stuck with me. It has given me the perspective I need on how to view promises made. It has also given me a gauge to judge my actions. I can ask myself if my actions show that I am still standing on the edge or if I am fully committed. If I have not taken the leap, what do I need to do to get there?

I just love a good analogy!

I love this picture! You can see a full hearted, fearless commitment in her jump!

How great would it be if this is how we faced all of the commitments we make?!

What is it "Rated"?

A few weeks ago, while at a meeting, 3 of us were discussing education and how important it is to continually seek knowledge.

A friend of mine drew the chart above for us, while we were discussing seeking out the best books, etc. Here is how it works: 

Think of a book you love.

Starting with the vertical line, place a dot where you think this book is most accurately defined. Is it something that brings you closer to God? Does it teach truth? 

Now do the same for the horizontal line. Is it excellent? Does it increase your knowledge. It is well written? Etc. 

Where does your book fit? Is it surprising to you? 

One of the books she said she had someone do was Twilight. Rate that one. Where do you think it fits? 

I found that this chart can be applied to everything in our lives. Movies, TV, Books, the way we spend our time, etc. 

Having a visual way of rating keeps me more accurate. It is a great way to keep myself in check. Without the chart I would rate a book that I was totally entertained by as being a great book. However, with the chart, I can't seem to make myself put the book above the line that would say that it brings me closer to God. It doesn't. It entertains the socks off me, but it doesn't represent a wise use of my time. I totally get reading for entertainment, but I also think that anything that isn't taking you closer to the Lord, is taking you away from Him. There is no neutral ground. 

Anyway, I wanted to share this chart with you. There are SO many good things offered to entertain us, and unfortunately it seems that their are 3 times as many not so good things. Hopefully this chart will help keep us on the right track! :)

Car Accidents & Boat Lifts

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A month ago I pulled up on a horrible car accident. It had happened seconds before I got there. I remember being confused by the commotion ahead of me and wondering what in the world was going on. Then I noticed a young boy, about 9 or 10, being pulled from the back seat of the car. A woman had her arm around him and ran him to the sidewalk. I used to be an EMT and worked on the Ambulance in Pleasant Grove. It's been A LOT of years. I felt my heart start to race. The last time I came upon an accident near this spot I walked up to the window and found the woman dead. It was an experience I will never forget! Every detail is etched into my mind.

As I ran toward the accident, my car left in the middle of the road, a man who had witnessed the accident pulled his head out of the passenger side of the vehicle and spun around quickly with fear in his face. I was the first person his eyes found. "Do you know CPR?" He yelled with panic all over his face.

It is funny how quick your mind can have so many thoughts and feel so many emotions. In less than a split second, I swear I pictured the motions of CPR and ran through the instruction and experiences I have had in these types of situation. A sort of internal check to be sure it would come back. Did I remember what to do?! My answer was an immediate yes.

See, I remember calls where I knew we were walking into a scary situation. It was always the unknown. If you are called out on a chest pain call 10 times a week, every single situation will be different. You never knew what you be facing. One time in particular, I was on call during the day shift. No one else had called in to cover it. Just me. That happened from time to time. Although, members of our team were everywhere and when they heard the call, they would respond, if they could. I remember the "Code 3" being called across the pager. Code 3 = Lights & Sirens aka "HURRY". I got to the station. The fire chief met me there. He jumped in the driver seat. I jumped in back to get the supplies we would need while we drove to the scene. I remember my heart racing. I was alone. It seemed my brain was blank. Cardiac Arrest was the call. What did I need for that again?! I wanted to have Chief stop and let me out. This was too much stress. What if I did something wrong? I didn't have my captain with me. A woman that had WAY more experience and knowledge than I.

I ALWAYS PRAYED! I had the knowledge. I had been taught what to do. I always asked the Lord to help me to be calm and remember what I needed to know to help the person we were going to see. Honestly, I couldn't have done it without that help. And just like every single  time I had ever responded to a call, the second I got to the patient, calm took over. The instruction and education I had been given was like 2nd Nature. I knew just what I needed to do. As I started to run through my checklist, my then captain arrived on the scene. She had been in the neighborhood when the call came in. We worked together and got this man the help he needed to get him safely to the hospital. I was always amazed how guided we seemed to be on so many of those calls.

These memories and the knowledge I gained about "Divine Intervention" gave me the peace and calm I needed as I ran around the car and weaved by way between the smashed up drivers side of her car and the van that had just smashed into her at 50 mph. The horns from both vehicles were blaring and frantic people ran around, it was almost too much noise to be able to think through. Sound like that certainly can ratchet up the intensity of a moment! I prayed in my mind. I knew the Lord was there to help me. THAT is why I would know just what to do. It is amazing how the world can seem to hold so still and move so slowly that these thoughts seemed easy to process, but in reality, only seconds had ticked by.

As I stuck my head in the window of the car, the woman had just taken a large gasping breath. We checked her pulse. It was weak, but it was there. She was totally unconscious and did not look good. She was in need of constant supervision until the ambulance arrived and we could safely get her out of the car. This man that witnessed the van run the stop light, without even a tap on his brakes as he slammed into the side of this little old Subaru, and I stood by keeping our focus on this woman. Others arrived to help. Interestingly enough, an old friend of mine who was also my captain for a time, stepped in to assist.

When the ambulance arrived I stepped back to the boy that was pulled from the car. He was young. He saw the accident coming, then he saw his mom slumped over the steering wheel. He was terrified. One of my greatest fears for my children. Watching him began to really cause me anxiety. I couldn't get over how scared he must be. Then I turned to the woman that I had seen running with her arm around him. She also had watched the accident happen. She stood next to him now. Her arm still around him. She never left him. Then I saw the drops of blood on her shirt. She had gotten them from the small cuts from the glass on this boy.

Something about that small scene really struck me. I thought about this woman, her day and schedule forgotten as she kept constant vigil over this boy as if she were his mother. She was so gentle and loving. He clung to her as if they had known each other forever, instead of just moments. He found so much comfort in her presence. There was also another woman that was there to help in anyway she could. A police chief swept in to comfort the boy and help him track down his dad. Back in the car, there were several EMTs carefully cutting the car open from one side, and trying to get at the woman still unconscious inside, from the other. It was like I could see this entire scene from the outside looking in. The whole picture.

All of this came to my mind the other day when I watched a clip from 9/11, about the "Boat Lift". So many people racing to help others. No matter their status or situation. They could only see humanity & those that desperately sought help. Frightened people covered in ash were greeted by willing helpers. People that were willing to risk their own lives to save even one, if they could. They saved nearly half a million!

The combination of these two events shows the true nature of people. In our busy lives we quickly run from one thing to the next, without much attention spared for the day to day needs of those around us. Sadly. However, in moments like these we are all inspired, by the actions of others, to reach out and do more to lift the burdens of others. We can also find comfort in knowing that if we were in the situation of need, the goodness in people will shine on us, when we need it most.

Heaven forbid we should ever face my fears of being in an accident, like the one I witnessed. I hate to think of my kids experience the sort of fear I could see in that little boys face. That being said, bad things happen to good people all the time, everywhere, in any situation you can think of. We are mortal. We get sick. We get hurt. We get scared. I am not naive enough to think that I or my family will live a life of invincibility, where nothing will ever harm us or make life more difficult. I don't think that because we have all gone through such a difficult experience of losing our little Dawson that We will now live out the remainder of our mortality in some sort of bubble of immunity. Of course it won't. And I wouldn't want that to be the case. Experience, good and especially hard, can bring the greatest amount of change and growth into our lives. Losing our son & my kids' brother...certainly the most difficult thing we have experienced. It's impossible to put our feelings about grief into words that would do it justice. Likewise, it would be difficult to adequately explain the peace in our lives that has come through this experience as we have learned and gained a knowledge about the true Eternal nature of our souls, our purpose & our Heavenly Fathers divine plan of happiness and salvation.

We have learned that through every experience, the Lord is constantly vigilant. When we reach toward Him, He will expand our knowledge and faith. When we push away, deceived into thinking that hardship is a sure sign that He doesn't listen to or care about us, WE step away from the greatest opportunity for growth and peace in our lives.

In our moments of need....He will come and He will put in our paths those whom He trusts to help us through.

People are good, because there is divinity in all of us. We are His children! While we can't predict OR prevent the things we will experience in this lifetime, we can find a bit more peace in knowing that there will be others there to help us through.

Want to see the "Boat Lift"? It is worth your time! So amazing! So inspiring!

The Influence Of Good Friends

With my son Jake nearing Jr. High, I have been thinking a lot about the influence of good friends.

I know a little something about the influence friends can have on your life because of these girls.......

{Me, Brei, Caytee, Rachel, Andrea, Wendy & Stacey}

Last month our friend Deirdre came to Utah for a visit and we decided we needed to get everyone together. Oh, how I LOVE these girls!

{Rachel, Me, Deirdre, Stacey & Brei}

Having these girls as friends was a blessing in my life. I always noticed their kindness to EVERYONE. I always noticed the way that their values were what defined them and directed their choices. They set a great example for me and I love them all so much for that!

These girls have been a part of my life since Jr. High and I know they will continue to be for the rest of my life. I love that!

This is what I hope for, for my Jake. Good friends make such a huge difference. I have loved watching him make new friends, since moving to Utah. He has such a good little group of friends right now and I can't wait to see how that group will grow next year!

What are some things you do to teach your kids to BE a good friend?

Time for A Little Endorphine Releasing Lymphatic Massage, People!

Have you ever heard of LAUGHTER YOGA? No? Well, check this out.




I LOVE to laugh! I laugh all the darn time! I love to make my hubby laugh and I love that he ALWAYS makes me laugh. My favorite sound in the WORLD is the sound of my kids laughing!

My friend Jeni found a Laughter Yoga class and I SO wanted to go with her. As it is, we are a few weeks from ONE GINORMOUS downpayment on our new home. The budget is TIGHT! Real TIGHT! So I had to forego! I was so sad! I think Laughter Yoga with Jeni would be one of the funnest experiences EVER! Probably because we both could sit for hours with each other and bust up over everything! I love that about her!

She just posted about her experience in the class. I really loved it! Wanna read it? CLICK HERE. Now THAT sheds a little light on why laughter is so darn good and makes you want to try to laugh a little more, doesn't it?!

Well, I am here to provide! Let the endorphine releasing & lymphatic massage begin!

There is nothing like a laugh that makes you laugh harder, which makes them laugh harder, which makes YOU laugh harder! LOVE THIS! The guy in the middle KILLS me!

And now for the 14 year old boy in me. I don't know why, but these totally crack me up! :)

Alright, now get back to your day, and for the love of Pete, laugh a bit more, would ya?! :)

"102 Minutes That Changed America"

Today I woke up thinking about how I think that over the last 10 years I have forgotten the emotions I felt as I watched the 2nd plane collide with the 2nd tower. I remember that in that instant I, and I think everyone, realized that this was far more than just an accident.

Jake was 1. I remember feeling a lot of fear. Even all the way in Utah. I wondered what more would come. Is this the beginning of something so big and life changing? How would I protect my family? My little boy?

Today several channels showed a documentary. It is called "102 Minutes That Changed America". It started at exactly the time of the first plane hitting the first tower. It lasted 102 minutes, which was the length of time before both buildings had fallen. The entire thing is a compilation of "home video". Footage taken by people watching from their windows, on the street nearby and even people inside of the WTC! No narration, other than their voices and the comments of the stunned and frightened people on the streets. No media drama, or producers perspective, just raw footage and dispatch recordings.

HEART BREAKING!

Ryan & I watched. Jake watched it with us. Mallory played in the other room. Jake had been learning about this whole thing in school. I could sense his disconnect from how real this really was. I saw the warnings of the graphic nature and I decided it was good for him. And it was!

Our hearts broke as we watched the people jumping from the windows, choosing their way to die, knowing the other option, because they were seeing it all around them. The footage from inside the tower is what really got me. It was smokey and crowded. People were crying and screaming, hurrying to find their way out. I'm sure sprinklers were on inside the building, and then there were the constant alarms going off. So loud you can't hear yourself think. Not stopping. Dispatch telling you to stay where you are...because they honestly don't know what else to tell you. Fear telling you to get out. What heartbreaking chaos!

When the buildings came down, the dust cloud was shocking. People with cameras overtaken by the dust cloud, surely not expecting to be engulfed in complete blackness. For how long, I wonder. The air around them was so thick you could hear them hacking and coughing. They said it was impossible to breathe in.

Seeing the ground covered with a thick layer of office papers, dust, debri, ash....what was it like to begin the clean up process on that? How did they do it?!

It is no wonder to me that our Country seemed to incredibly united, immediately after this. People flocked to church. They were afraid and faith was not only kindled, it felt necessary for survival!

How quickly we forget.

After watching this we had a pretty good talk about the one constant in all of that fear. We talked with the kids about how no matter what happens in their lives, even experiences where they are afraid and separated from us, we MUST remember that God is constantly aware of us and we must pray and cling to faith. Having lost Dawson, I think we all feel such a strong connection to the other side of the veil. We KNOW this life is temporary. It was from the beginning and is now. When, where & how this portion of our existence will end, we don't know. However, we talked about how whatever we face, we know what waits for us, and that is all we need to give us the strength to endure anything.

Today my heart and mind was on those that lost family on that tragic day. Their worry for the fear their loved one felt must just break their hearts. I wonder, do they know they can be with them forever?! I can imagine the sort of comfort that would bring to their souls, because we know what it does for ours to know that we will be with Dawson again!  If they only could learn that their loved ones still live. They learn, or teach, and they wait for their loved ones, so they can teach them what they now know. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is vital to every single one of us!

Today I am more grateful for the Country we live in! I am more grateful for those who voluntarily leave family and loved ones to selflessly serve our Country and people all over this world, in fighting for freedom. This war began nearly 10 years ago. It is crazy that it is a war, not fought for the boundaries or gain of a Country, but for a corrupt and evil idea! An idea! That is what spurred the terrorists into action. They give their lives for a mans idea. It is so sad that so many must pay the price of the wicked designs of the adversary! I'm grateful that their are people in our Country that have a true vision of freedom as a human right and a gratitude so at the core of who they are that they willingly give up so much, even their lives, to bring or preserve it for others. I'm SO grateful that today I feel more of an appreciation for them...and for our great Country!

I also have to add that I am in awe by the Firefighters and other emergency workers in New York....and everywhere! Listening to the dispatcher read off an endless list of firetrucks, with off duty firemen, responding to the scene, was absolutely amazing. The people that worked in these buildings went in that morning without understanding the dangers that would come. On the other hand, these Firemen knew exactly what they were walking in to, and they did it heroically. So many gave their lives, trying to save others. Listening to their voices call back their progress to their Chief, and watching them scramble to save as many as they could....it was amazing! I used to be an EMT. It was totally my favorite job! I still crave it every time I smell a diesel engine. I can smell the Ambulance and I want to get in and go. For me, there was nothing like having the knowledge needed to get someone the help they needed when they were hurt or afraid. It was downright scary sometimes, to have a life depending on your teams ability to do the right thing, but it gave me a greater appreciation for those that do it full time and devote their lives to it. They do it because of their passion for helping people. They put their lives at risk everyday to perhaps save someone else's. It is really quite amazing!

I don't know if you are interested or not. Perhaps you don't have the time right now. Click on the title of this post, it will bring up its own page. Book mark this page. Then come back when you have time and watch this video. It is the full documentary that we watched today. It will change your perspective. It is SO well worth the watch, if you can!

Crossing the Finish Line

Before we moved from Idaho I had the most fabulous amazing trainer EVER! She was completely amazing! She taught me how to get past the whole, "I HATE EXERCISE" thing! In fact, she taught me to CRAVE it! And even crazier than that....she made me an addict to that uncomfortable feeling, you know, when you are working crazy hard! I am a TOTAL addict! I have learned to love the feeling of getting to that point, because I know that when I push through it and keep going hard the feeling when I am done will be almost euphoric!

I have struggled with my weight for a lot of years. It has been SO frustrating! I exercise & eat good and NOTHING! Just before I had the twins I found out that my battle was uphill for a reason. I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I think for a long time I really felt defeated by this more than anything. Then I had the twins and obviously my efforts for weight loss were put on the back burner. My energy was needed by my kids and I couldn't afford (emotionally) to be frustrated and upset about my weight. So, I figured the time would come someday and put my focus elsewhere. After Dawson passed away I felt the drive to take better care of my health again. I also felt really strongly that Dawson wanted this for me, also. So I called Ali (my trainer) and started learning everything I could about PCOS. I wasn't defeated, I just needed to approach it differently. I learned it would in fact be harder for me to lose weight, but I felt like it was a battle worth fighting...plus, as success came I would prove to myself that I was MUCH stronger than I thought I was!

Ali gave me the most important key, when I started working out. She taught me not to exercise to lose weight. Womens bodies have a tendency to fluctuate in weight, depending on a lot of things. I could work so hard and get to the end of the week and be disappointed by the scale & risk giving up because of discouragement, which happens ALL of the time. What she taught me was to work out to feel good. The pay off is constant AND completely guaranteed! There have been days when it was harder to workout than others, but I have ALWAYS ended feeling good about pushing through it! SUCCESS! I started working out consistently. In turn, I wanted to get better and better at it, so the eating habits came easily. I wasn't a major junk food person and I wasn't an extreme over eater. My body just struggles to break things down the way it should and that is what causes the biggest problems. I realized that by eating some things I would feel sluggish and working out was harder. Working out was important to me because it made me feel so great. The foods that affected me negatively were easily gone. I realized that I could have whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, but I was CHOOSING something different. That concept & realization alone was a powerful lesson!

When we moved to Utah I struggled with a lot of stress for a few months. I struggled to get back on some sort of work out schedule. I didn't have Ali or my friend Maryon to push me when I am wimpy! :) I knew something had to happen.

My sister in law invited me to try a spinning class with her. SHEESH! Spinning! Isn't that for people that are already totally in shape?! Isn't it crazy hard?! She assured me that everyone can take it at their own pace and I agreed to go.

H O O K E D!!

Totally addicted! I mean, don't get me wrong, my "undercarriage" felt like there was permanent damage done & I couldn't walk the next day! However, I LOVED it! It was hard....really hard, but I pushed through and I really started to realize that I am WAY stronger than I think I am! A few days later I went back to spinning, a little tender, but I was promised that would stop soon. It did. The third time, I was all good and completely sold! Then I discovered Kat, my fave instructor, and I was totally devoted to spinning! In fact, I am quite sure that sometime in the near future, I will be a certified instructor! YAY!

Soon after that my sister in law mentioned a road biking race. I looked into it and decided that this would be a great way for me to push myself through the Summer to continue working hard. I signed up! 65 Miles! As I started training I was totally in love. Ryan bought me a SWEET bike for my birthday and I rode that puppy about 75 miles per week.

At some point I realized that the bike race I was signed up for fell on Dawson's birthday. To me, this was totally meant to be! I felt Dawson with me all of the time when I was pushing hard! I could feel him cheering on! So, for his birthday I was going to complete this race for him!

The morning of the race Jana & I loaded our bikes on my car! I LOVE this car! I love it more when there are bikes on top! It is quite a sight! :)

We got to the race start line, at Thanksgiving Point, at about 6am. Hit registration and hung out, and in my case stocked up on spare tubes (my tires are having issues and keep going flat...annoying!). Our start time was at 7am. All of the teams and century riders got to go first.

My hubby is the BEST! He woke the kids up and hauled them out to cheer me on when we took off. They were the only sender-offers there! I mean, not many people wanted to get up that early on a Saturday, I am thinking and my poor Mally had to do it on her birthday!

Can I just say that doing this kind of stuff is SO good for the kids to be a part of! Jake wants to hit the gym with me a few times per week and run a race with me and Mallory keeps telling me we need to get her some good running shoes so she can run with me too! Plus, I think that it is good for them to watch me train. They see that I have set a goal and then they see how hard it is & cheer me on as I cross the finish line! It has been so good for all of us!

My sister in law, Jana, beat me back by about 30 min....thanks to my 2 flat tires! UGH!!!

After I crossed the line I was SO excited! One because it was hard! Especially the last 2 miles! There was a crazy head wind and it was kicking my trash! However, something happens to you when you turn a corner and see the finish line ahead. Some sort of reserve, that I thought I had already used, kicked in to gear! I pedaled hard and passed a couple pro guys that were in front of me. I crossed the line at over 20 mph! Pretty darn good, I would say!

The second reason why I was excited is because as hard as we trained and tried to raise our average speed, we just couldn't get it any lower. I estimated that it would take about 4 hrs 45 min to 5 hours at our usual pace. My goal when I crossed the starting line was 4 hrs. 30 min. However, I crossed the line with 3 hours 57 min (not including the time I was changing my 2 flat tires)! Our average speed jumped! We were SO excited! Over all my on the bike time put me at 12th place among the 72 women entered and 27th among the 150 men & women entered! Not bad for my first race EVER! :)

I crossed the line completely exhausted...and dirty! Changing rear tires is dirty business! Ry & our kids, Jared, Jana & their kids were there to cheer me on when I finished. And then the magnitude of what I had accomplished totally hit me!

First, it was Dawsons birthday. I did this for him. My little guy was with me the ENTIRE race! I remember one stretch. It was a steady slight up hill. I had been pedaling hard for a couple of hours. My body was tired. I was alone. The group I was with had gone ahead, because of my flat and I was ahead of all the other people. Knowing this stretch was ahead of me, with a little hill at the end was a bit overwhelming. Then I heard my D. We had a good little talk for that stretch! It was healing and SO SO good! Before I knew it, I had climbed that hill at the end and I was turning for the downhill. Not only did I make it, but I pedaled at 23 mph hour the entire time! THAT is something I had NEVER been able to do! My little man totally wanted me to know he was with me!

Second, I grew up being very thin. I could do anything. I could accomplish anything and didn't feel any limits, as far as my physical abilities were concerned. For the last several years, that has definitely not been the case. I think I have been surprised by the limits I feel like I have because of extra weight, but I have also been surprised by how much other people don't think you can do. I've been profiled by instructors of classes, etc. Thinking that I must be new because I am heavier than everyone in the class, not knowing that I have been spinning for 8 months, probably in better shape than many other people in the class, and that I have lost over 50 lbs so far! While I was on my race a VERY sad sort of man, all by himself in his car, saw me, all by myself, rolled down his window and yelled a VERY rude comment to me. Oh man! At first it totally hurt....then I was suddenly empowered by the idea that I know that I could beat that man, hands down, in any race! Then I felt bad for him. Who does that?! Poor guy! He must not be a very happy individual. I refused to let him get me down. What he said was easily turned, in my mind, into a term that instead would mean that I was RIDICULOUSLY strong! Which I decided I was! Then I picked up my pace. Silly man! You messed with a woman that can find the positive side of anything! Little did you know, your little comment fueled my fire and you should rue the day you ever compete against me brother!

I think the feeling that I had as I crossed the finish line was all of these feelings coming together to remind me that I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for! It was as if a lifetime of going through hard experiences flashed in my mind and I realized that I had a choice. I could have let those experiences weigh me down and I could carry them with me for the rest of my life....OR I could do what I have tried to do and face them. Learn from them. And then be grateful for them. They have molded me into the woman that I am now. Each experience preparing me for the strength I would need in the next. All of them combining to give me the strength I needed to be a good Mom to Dawson & to be everything he needed me to be, as his mom. I couldn't be more grateful for every experience, no matter how hard....well, that and hindsight! Cause seriously, it is nice to look back and know it is behind me! :)

All of these things are the sort of things that crossed my mind in those minutes after the race. I always wondered what it was like to cross a finish line. I have seen others experience a lot of emotion when they have. I don't know what it was for them, but for me, it was just what I needed! THAT is a feeling that will keep me competing! That is what will make me want to encourage others to do the same! Don't think you can't do it! Seriously....YOU CAN! If I can, YOU can! Try it!

It's in my blood now! Biking & Racing! I ran my first 5K last weekend. I'm glad to have that done. Running hurts a bit more. My poor joints! :) However, I am not done! There are a few other races I have my eyes on! One that includes a whole lot of MUD and for sure a spring triathlon next year! These things will keep me training and help me stay focused through the Winter. I love being outside, but getting ready for a May triathlon will teach me to love being inside too, I guess!

Now, I am SO excited for tomorrow! One of my friends owns a business and we are doing a giveaway here starting tomorrow and it is HUGE!! There will be 3 BIG winners....I mean BIG! Then, because she is so fantastic, everyone that enters will get a little something too!

Oh it is going to be a good one! You are going to love it!

See you tomorrow!