Monday, June 21, 2010

CONFESSIONS......

I took a whole week off of blogging. It wasn’t even something I did on purpose. It just sort of happened. Every time I sat in front of the computer, I went blank.

Blank because I was running on empty. Blank because something seemed to be missing. Blank because I miss my Little D to a point that I nearly can’t bear the pain of it.

I need to get out of this funk. I have told myself that every day. However, I was stuck and it was getting worse.

Then a much needed phone call came from a friend that I believe the Lord placed in my life because I so desperately need her guidance, love and wisdom.

She said that she had thought about me and wanted to come visit. She said that for some reason when she pictured me, she pictured me depressed. Which she said wasn’t usually how she pictures me. (I am sure every other time it is being a total goofball and acting something like a 17 year old girl!)

And so she called. Right when I needed her most, and I didn’t even know it yet!

She told me about an experience she had that made her realize just how powerful and damaging negative thinking about ourselves can be. One moment she experienced an almost crushing feeling as she ran through all of the things she didn’t like or that others might not like about her. She almost couldn’t stand it anymore. Then….the opposite came. The thoughts were cast away…lifted from her. She felt nothing but love from the Lord. She understood that by simply dwelling on or entertaining those feelings they had the power to crush her and take her far from who she REALLY is!

Earlier that morning I had gone on a long walk. The first half of my walk was spent just feeling great to be out in the sun, my heart pumping, my legs working. I love that feeling. The second part was less for my body and more for my soul. That is when I decided this post needed to happen.

When the idea of Your Life Uncommon first came to me, it was out of a desire…no, PASSION I felt so tangibly I could hardly breathe, for women, including myself, to rise above feelings of inadequacy, live powerfully, face life head on, live on purpose, be positive, lift one another up, discover our best selves, accept each stage of our lives and learn to love it so we can be our best at it, etc. I wanted this project to, in a sense, form a network of women encouraging each other and through it ALL OF US would become better.

So here comes the confession…..I’m not all that! :) I mean, I am a work in progress and CERTAINLY have my moments of losing my temper, feeling bad for myself, complete selfishness and many many more faults and short comings. Those who know me best can tell you that. :)

However, no matter where we are at in life there is simply a choice. To stay the same, or to make ourselves and our lives better. Sometimes a simple attitude adjustment works wonders! Sometimes it is taking a quality that you wish you had and focusing on it until it becomes part of your nature. For me…there are a lot of things that I have been taught by a lot of VERY wise people in my life. Simply knowing them isn’t what changes my life. Applying them….now THAT is what make a life uncommon! Imagine if we spent our time trying to find the best parts of ourselves and of those around us, and then we really worked to help others see the best in themselves also.

I am not saying that along the road there aren’t days…weeks…months when we slip into a rut. There are. I KNOW!

What matters is that we know our life-lines that will help us get back out as quick as possible.

Prayer & Scripture study have always been one for me. Who knows us better or loves us more than our Father in Heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ?!

Another life-line, for me, is close friends. Those that know you best…I mean REALLY know you, and love you anyway! :) What is greater than friends that make you want to be a better person…not because they make you feel like you are not enough, but because they see something in you that you don’t always see. They see the best in you, before they see anything else. To have friends like that is a blessing…to be a friend like that is certainly a worthy goal!

Another lifeline for me….YOU! Since I have started this blog it has been amazing to watch it grow. Hundreds of visitors stop here every day. I LOVE THAT! More than that, I absolutely LOVE all of the many emails I have received from so many of you. Sharing your personal story, asking questions, sending a little love, telling me how much you have loved this or that. I can’t tell you how much it means to me! I really can’t!

This is why I love blogging! I love meeting new people from across the world! People I likely never would have met. People that I have learned so much from and those lessons wouldn’t have come without this blog!

I don’t know why you are not the most comment leaving folks around :) HA! But, I do know that this week, as I read and responded to emails, I FELT LIFTED! It reminded me why this blog exists. Why I keep it going and why I don’t crawl into a little hole somewhere and just live a normal life. Really…who wants normal anyway?! :)

Please keep the emails coming…heck, comments, email, whatever! Just know that YOU make a difference in my life! I couldn’t be more grateful for it!

And now…..back to normal posting! :)

6 comments:

Hardy Party said...

Amy,

You are an amazing woman. This post is so true. We do have the power to make ourselves happy and better. I have been thinking about you a lot as well. I hope you are OK, and adjusting to the massive changes you have been through this year. Just know how much you are loved and missed.

Love Sondi

Cami D. said...

I am so glad you are REAL!!

I just wanted to share this quote I found last week when I so desperately needed it!

"There is always something ending and something beginning. Yet in the very center is the truth of your spiritual identity: is you... fabulous, hilarious, darling, screwed-up you. Beloved of God and of your truest deepest self, the self that is revealed when tears wash off the make-up and grime" -Anne Lamott

So go on - be that 17 year old giggly goofy self! :) I love it!

Lombardo Family said...

Miss Amy...I just love you. I love who you are. I've been MIA from your blog for a while, well not actually MIA because I still look at it all the time, just haven't left comments. Sometimes I just don't know what to say and I have to admit that I struggle from time to time reading blogs because I certainly go through the "I'm just not as good of a mother like so and so, or a wife like so and so". And it was kinda depressing so I took a hiadis (sp?) :o) Thanks for letting me know that you lose your temper sometimes and have days of "poor me" (although, you have that right as far as I'm concerned!) Now, when are we going to meet at Lagoon?!?

Gear Gang said...

Aim, I wish i was there to give you the most giant LOVE. You are wonderful. I love you so much.


There is nothing wrong with having bad days....We all do. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. In fact, as I always say to Ryan when I mess things up. Phew!!! I am so glad I screwed up because otherwise I would be perfect and not be able to be here with you!!!

Hang in there!!! You are an amazing woman and I love you!!

Amy Lindstrom ~ YourLifeUncommon.com said...

Hahahaha! Oh I will not stop laughing about that all day Lisa!
I am going to have to read that again so I can store that one away in my back pocket for use at some point! :) That was awesome! The best is I can hear you say it and I can picture your Ryan rolling his eyes in surrender! :) I love you guys!

I could use some sister time....for the record! Come see me!

The Johnson Family said...

You are awesome. I just LOVE this post!

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