This week has been a great one! It has been one filled with my sweet boy!
My friend Elizabeth asked me to come to ward just about 2 months before Dawson passed away. I spoke to the Relief Society in her ward about our experience with the twins and all of their hospital adventures. The fireside was called, "Gratitude in the Face of Adversity". Everything seemed to have taken on that title after that point.
Right after Dawson passed away I was asked to do a fireside or come and speak to several different groups. All of them bore the same title. I have shared Dawson's story of faith with many different groups since then. His story changes lives. If you have read it, you know this already. It is a blessing in my life to get to do these firesides. It keeps me focused on what all of this has really been about. It reminds me of Eternal Perspective.
Right after Dawson passed away, just moments after the mortician took Dawson from my in-laws home, I felt my entire soul splitting in two. It was such a powerful wave of grief. I didn't know if I would survive it, it felt like it would consume me. As I cried and clung to the pillow Dawson had slept on for days I asked my husband for a Priesthood Blessing.
As my husband delivered the words the Lord wanted me to hear through that sacred blessing, there was a strength and a power beyond my own reaching through the veil to lift me up. The end of Dawson's life did not mean the end of this chapter of my life, in fact, it was just the beginning. Dawson's departure was a necessary part of me being able to now go forward with my purpose and mission in this life. Dawson's life and message was and is completely intertwined with my purpose here.
There were many other things in that blessing that were just for my husband and I. By the end of the blessing I felt a new energy coursing through my body. The grief, although incredibly heavy a lot of times, was not consuming. I felt such energy and desire to tell everyone I possibly could what I now KNEW was true! I feel a desperate desire to help others understand just how much the Lord loves us! How REAL He is! How much He wants us to endure the hard things in life and allow Him to work through them to remind us of who we are and why we are here. That is their purpose!
It has been amazing to me to have so many opportunities to share this message! I would go anywhere, anytime. All anyone has to do is ask! (Especially if it was somewhere tropical! :)) This week I got to speak to a ward in Lehi, UT. Today I am heading out on an 11 hour drive to Pinetop, AZ. My friend Maryon has asked me to speak to the youth and parents in a couple of wards on Sunday night. I know I am headed to Idaho sometime soon, as well.
It has been a blessing to me to share Dawson with so many through this blog and now through these firesides! He is always close to me while I am preparing for and speaking to each group. It will be fun to see how many other places we will get to go!