Koli and Humble Pie

(Joan- a lady I met at casting, Koli - at home winner Season 9, Me) 

Season 10 Biggest Loser is filming right now. I sent in a video to apply. Funny huh?! Well, one day about a month ago I received an email. Attached was a VIP pass. I had caught their eye. They wanted to meet me for the filming of Season 11. I went to Salt Lake last week to meet the casting directors.

I am not sure how things will go with that. However, I am so glad I was there. Koli was visiting Utah for Pioneer Day, saw the Biggest Loser casting and came by to say hi. On my way out I ran into him and we talked for a while.

We talked about all of the aftermath of The Biggest Loser. He talked about his exhausted body and his tricks to keeping the weight from coming back. I sweetly mentioned I know a girl I would like to set him up with. "Her name is Sunshine", I say. "I think you know her." Koli laughs. Then admitted that he did date Sunshine for a  bit of time. They aren't dating any longer. He gave us the inside view of what it is like to be on the ranch. Talked about the grease that seeped from his pores after eating all that food to keep Sam on the ranch and how sick he felt. He told us how he is really shy, and having people come up to him all over is kinda crazy to him.

I told him about Dawson. And this site. I told him that after the experience of Dawson's life and then death and so much more experience over the last 5 years, I have finally been able to heal parts of my spirit that had been damaged throughout the course of my life. I told him that I wanted my outside to match what I knew on the inside.

And then the humble pie.....

I told him that I speak to groups and have this website and that I worry that in sharing my passion for finding happiness in every stage of life, no matter how difficult, and to live according to our best selves, that people may see my struggle with my weight and think, "that's not what happy looks like".

Then in a gentle manner, one of gernerously serving a perfectly portioned slice of humility, he said....

"But that is just your own self perception you are putting on everyone else! If you think people think that way, you are saying that people are really shallow."

"Thanks Koli!" I say.

He immediately jumps to soften the blow. He didn't mean to offend.

But I quickly told him that I totally appreciated what he said to me! It was true. Because I feel that way doesn't mean everyone else does. Because I am shallow, doesn't mean everyone else is. Oh, I need to work on that! :)

That one moment has floated around in my mind for over a week now. The way that my beliefs or way of thinking can hold me back more than anyone else can. You know what I mean?

The other thing that hung out in my mind for a while was the people that I saw there. While talking to Koli there was a man that walked passed us. My heart broke for him. He was heavier than anyone I had ever seen. Not only weight wise, but emotionally. You could see his sadness weighing him down more.

What seemed impossible that morning, was suddenly easy. I can do this. No question!

As for doing it with Bob & Jillian or on my own....who knows, I won't know until probably the end of September. Either way.....