I have had a little something on my mind...a goal, if you will. It is pretty simple, but profound.
It is simply the power of the word "SURE".
My goal: To replace "if you want", "I don't care", "That's fine", "Ok", "Whatever", etc with the word "SURE", in repsonse to my kids inquiries.
The impact of such a small word is profound. Without fail it is received with a huge smile and most times a big squeeze and a happy child! The answer is the same, in a sense, as it would have been with the other phrases, but there is a difference in the way that it is received. It is one small word that delievers support, confidence and love.
I have been a user of the phrase, "I don't care" for a long time. However, the energy of it is so different. It is negative. It sends a message of "I don't really want you to, but I don't want to deal with it." How sad is that?! I mean if I am saying I don't care, that is the message they get....I don't care.
Thank goodness for change, right?! :)
Now, think about the power of example.
Don't your kids respond using the same phrases you use? (Sometimes much to our dismay). What if they pick up this lovely little word and use it right back at us? Oh, I like the thought of that! If they did it would make me want to hold them down and smooch their cheekers until they beg for release!
So, here is the experiment. Try using it. It is going to require you to think about how you are answering to everything, but the results are worth it!
"Mom, can you get me a drink?" SURE
"Mom, can I go play at my friends?" SURE
"Mom, will you play a game with me?" SURE
"Mom, do I have to eat my veggies?" SURE! (Hahaha..ok, I am not sure how that will be received)
There are times when "No" is required, but let's just see what the power of replacing our "Yes" responses with "SURE" are. Then of course report! I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
6 comments:
I try to avoid useing the word 'NO' even when I'm telling my kids no. Instead I try to say things like:
"Maybe later."
"After ____."
"Right now isn't a good time."
"How about ____ instead?"
"I bet you can think of a better idea."
Then you can thank them or even praise them when they do something that you would rather them do instead.
Of course they would always rather hear "SURE!" more often though.
I believe that "sure" is the way to go. With my first child it was one of his first words. However with each child, I have four, I have somehow stopped using it as much. But each time I do, I am rewarded with a smile and usually a hug and kiss.
So True!! I am going to challenge myself to this one. Ryan and I are guilty of "Just a minute" for just about everything because we are always busy, but then when I ask the kids to do something for me and they say "just a minute" it annoys me to no end and I just don't have time for it :)
So maybe just maybe if I say "sure" they will too! I will let you know how it goes.
Thanks Aim!
Amy,
You are such an incredible mother. You care so much about your family! What an example! And I'm learning this more and more about you as I read your blog.
Great idea! I'll try it with Brian :)
I was just talking to my mom about this subject. We went to Brian Regan last night and he talked about his son slurping up a spagetti noodle and flipping his head around making the noodle twirl like a helicopter while sauce was flipping onto the walls. He said he told his son to stop doing that. Then he said that after thinking about it he felt a little jealous for a minute that his son that he felt like he had the freedom to do something silly like that. He said the look on his face was so sad when he told him to stop it. He said "what message am I trying to pass on to him? That his happiness is less important than the paint on our walls?" I thought that was pretty profound. Why not let him flip his spagetti noodles around in his mouth and maybe join in on the fun. I know I need to stop and think about the things I tell my kids to stop doing. Yes I agree boundaries need to be taught, like not to flip your noodle at a restaraunt but when you are in the walls of your own home, once in awhile what the heck. Then you can use your 3 wipe rule afterwards.
Sure Jake...you can have a rice krispie treat.
Because really...I DO care!!!
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